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Oh, MY EYES


posted by Lucy V Morgan on , , ,

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So here are a couple of things that eyes don't do:

Pierce It isn't the eyes themselves that are sharp enough to pierce, but the colour of them--so talk about the colour (and no, I don't mean "piercing blue eyes").

Smolder As above: a colour issue (unless your character is actually on fire. Then I shall let you off).

Penetrate Ever see that episode of Angel where the dude could take himself apart, and his eye was hovering outside his beloved's window with its bloody little stem quivering in the air? Still want to be penetrated by some hot bitch's eyes? No? Funny, that.

Rake I am also not a pile of leaves.

Smile Imagine eyes curving into the shape of a smile. YOU RACIST

Gleam Eyes gleam when the character is excessively healthy (which is nice, really. Good for them) or on drugs. This is the human equivalent of a wet nose. If you're trying to convey evil-ness then I do hope you get scarier than shining eyes at some point.

Glitter Only acceptable in the m/m genre, when he's going disco (edited to add: when writing m/m, do be careful with the use of "gaze." Read it aloud, people: "I got hot under his gaze." Is it a look? Is it a gang bang...?). Otherwise, see above comment on drugs.

Shoot daggers Paranormal romance has come a long way. But not this far. 

Even if you're cool with eyes doing these biologically impossible and creatively lazy things, here's some news for you: everyone else is describing them this way. In other words, there goes your original voice.

If you're stuck on how to get your point across, don't describe the eyes at all; describe the way they make other people feel. For example: "He narrowed big eyes and crushed everything in his vision. Was that why I suddenly felt so small?" After that...do you even care about what colour those eyes are?

Writers: use your head, and when it comes to eyes, show some imagination.

Please?

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