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Writing Sex: She's Co -- Wait, Was That It?

posted by Lucy V Morgan on , , ,


I write a lot of sex, so it stands to reason that I read a lot of it. While one can't hope to generalise, they can identify certain issues.

What's with all these scenes when the women orgasm in about ten seconds?

If that happens for you, great. But does it happen for most women? I very much doubt it (and female orgasm is often rather subjective, so I guess we'll never find out).

Erotica is fantasy. We want our lovers to be skilled; they should know where to touch us, for how long, and how. So it makes sense that we're likely to see a woman orgasming more in erotica than she might in real life.

However...part of the thrill of reading erotica is the arousal it inspires. I want my body to walk along the razor-edge of desire that the heroine's is. If the grand total of the stimulation she receives is a few quick strokes, that doesn't really do anything for me. It's like having the bedroom door abruptly slammed in my face. Sure, good foreplay isn't all about direct stimulation; it can be whispered in words, coaxed by a fingertip at the spine. It can be just looking at him, if he's hot enough (ooh la la). But the wonderful thing about foreplay is that it gets varied, and it assaults all of your senses, if it's done right. Nomatter how beast-tastic the hero's pork sword is, a few thrusts alone won't send me to La La Land.

This trope annoys me so much I actually wrote a story about it (see She Needs a Montage). Are we suggesting to women that being this "quick" is the ideal? Are we suggesting that to male readers, too? Isn't that a bit...patronising? And useless? One of the things I love about erotica is that it gives me ideas -- what do I get from a wham-bam-that's-all-you-get-ma'am?

In an ideal world, women would take as long as men -- but since most of us take a bit longer, that's not our experience. I want to relate to an erotic heroine. How can I do that if she's more of a male fantasy than a female one?


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